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(KFE) Cambridge, Massachusetts May 19, 2008 In a joint press release issued by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard Medical School, an astonishing new discovery that combines meteorology and medicine has caused alarm and curiousity within academia of both disciplines. Atmospheric scientists at MIT report that, with increased surface temperatures as a result of global warming, resulting updrafts within thunderstorms have become stronger, leading to more pronounced mammatus clouds protruding from the rear flank of these storms. These clouds are often precursers to tornadoes and hail. In a startling twist, researchers at Harvard Medical School have noticed an increase in the size of womens' breasts in lockstep with this phenomena. Named "Hypermammiferous Glandular Precox Elevation Dues Me Syndrome", the affliction also appears to make women more buoyant, making swimming safer. However, there have been several instances of reported levitation. In one case, a woman was seen floating over the Charles River in Boston in a lawn chair, knitting and apparently unaware of her plight. Asked to comment on the report and culpability of big oil, Exxon spokesmen Conlin Beck said simply "The left leaning scientists from Harvard and MIT are a bunch of boobs." Miley Smarsh Managing Editor *Kentucky Fried Earth-All rights reserved. Any reproduction during the viewing of this website is strictly prohibited. |
Kentucky Fried Earth Celebrates the bachelor, masters and doctoral degrees, earned in the atmospheric
sciences by the following public figures. These disciplines require the highest standards of advanced
applied mathematics and physics. |
